Love Sick and Empty

What drives you? The same thing that drives everybody else. Whether it be the love you have for your children, the love you have for yourself, or the love of money. Some form of love drives you. Love makes you do crazy things, but love can also make you do all the right things.

Have you ever heard the saying “when you do what you love, it never feels like work”. That’s because the quote is based from a person doing what they love. And when you do what you love, you feel happy and complete. You don’t feel like your missing anything. You don’t feel empty.

Then when you’re a person like me, a 26 year old man who had to move back into her family home because she lost love and everything she had to offer, you feel empty. I work a full time job I hate just to save money to get a car. You spend majority of the money you make feeding yourself and getting back and forth to work. Oh, and I can’t forget trying to have a good time so you won’t think of the pile of shit you call life. All on top of giving you grandmother money for staying with her, paying your own bills and whatever else you may need. So, yeah, that car your saving for is taking longer than expected.

Your “used to be” friends are starting their own businesses, going on vacations, getting married and starting families. And here I am. Coming home everyday from a job I’m not happy with just to come home in my room and be alone. I can’t help but to feel empty. Having a broken heart made me realize I have nothing. Without love, what is there to really care about?